I Can Study Too, Just Like You

I Can Study Too, Just Like You

The picture above basically describes what I feel like doing right now. I feel another rant coming on. I've decided that during the hour between my Culture and Mass Media class and my Creative Writing class I would spend a little time writing my blog on the Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays that I have it (which is holding true; I can only promise to be posting three times a week since school has begun again). Usually there is no class occupying the room during the hour before Creative Writing starts, so I just sit in the room with it all to myself and study and blog; it's pretty great.

I was already feeling just a little peeved since when I arrived at the room it was occupied by a bunch of nice but very socially awkward graduate engineering majors. In fact, when I asked to make sure they would have the room, none of the six of them could get the words out that ,yes, they had reserved the room. They stood there and stumbled and stammered over their words like God had asked them what they were doing for charity lately. But I digress. Anyway so I understood and left. They reserved the room and I most certainly had not, it is just kind of my little (only holds 20 students at a large round table) private study room for the hour and I quite enjoy it, but I have no claim to it. So I moved on.

Directly across from the Arts and Science building where that room is at is the Law Building. They have a very nice library in there that, from peering through the huge glass windows, I could see was practically empty. Now, let me just add that I happened to go to Ellis Library for a silly scavenger hunt I had to complete for a class that is meant to acquaint students with Ellis and the Mizzou libraries in general, and one of the questions was to find the closest library to my residence; it happens to be the law library. This is significant because you would think that since the library system is advertising the law library to all students that all students would be welcome. No. I saw a sign that if you are not a law student you must sign in, which is reasonable. However, as I walked up to the sign-in sheet the desk attendant started asking me questions.
"Are you a law student of the university?"
"No."
"Okay, you'll need to sign in. Are you here to conduct legal research?"
"No, I am just here to study in the library."
(in a sappy, empathetic tone)"Oh well I am sooo sorry, you have to be conducting legal research in order to enter. Have a nice day." and then he turns to face the other way and pays me no more mind.

Excuse me, although I know this is an argument made since tuition was created, I PAY A HELL OF A LOT OF MONEY to attend here. ...Or...my parents do. I walked out extremely peeved and even had trouble getting the door since I was so frazzled. The law library was basically empty; I wasn't taking anything away from the precious law students, I just wanted to sit in a desk with an outlet. I know it isn't because the legal documents are that precious either, because he would have easily allowed me to use them if I had said it was for legal research. I didn't even want that though! I JUST wanted a quiet library space in close proximity to the class I had in less than an hour right across the courtyard. It frustrates me because there is no reason I can think of that should prohibit me from being aloud to study in a library at a university of which I am a paying student. It is my right to study wherever I want, and the only reason I wasn't aloud is because they didn't like my purpose for being there. When did studying at college become an invalid reason for utilizing a library?

Back at It

Back at It

(Sorry there is no funny photo here, I promise I will update it later! I'm posting from a different computer and I don't know how to work Apple computers!!:)

Whelp, I'm back at Mizzou! I feel bad that I haven't posted in two days, but I have been pretty busy packing or sleeping! Yesterday I drove to Lambert Airport to pick up my man friend (we'll call him Josh, I'm changing names) and it was SO good to see him again! We drove back the two or so hours back to campus and dropped him off at his apartment before I went to move in at the sorority house! Last semester I was in a dorm since I am a freshman, but this semester I decided to move in-house! So far I would say I will get along with this roommate WAY better than the random dorm one.

The day was not perfect, however. I went to get my bike from the dorm where I had left it, planning to take it over to the sorority house. To my disdain, someone stole my bike basket. It was a nice, big, sturdy one. I am less upset about having to purchase another one than I am about having to take an hour or two to reinstall it. But hey, thinking optimistically, at least they didn't steal my whole bike (although it has a good lock so they didn't have the option).

The other thing that happened that was less than desirable is that when I got into my new room in the house it appeared that my sisters who had been in the room last semester had never. moved. out. All their things were still out as if someone were still inhabiting it. Nothing was in boxes. So when I came home to Columbia all prepared to set up my new room and get unpacked and comfortable, I couldn't because there was barely enough room to even set my luggage. Even more frustrating is that I waited and waited for the girls to come move their things, and two of them did within a few hours. The third girl still hadn't come by 9pm, so luckily I went over to Josh's and spent the night. Otherwise I would have had to sleep on the floor of my own room because her bed was still made! I did hear from my roommate this morning that the girl had come late last night and moved.

Still, I am so excited to be home even though it is bone cold! I have so much to do, though. Today I am spending the day with Josh and we are going to the grocery store so I can cook him a great dinner:) I also have to pick up my books and later tonight attempt again to settle into my room. Hopefully late tonight my roommate (we'll call her Rebecca) and I will go shopping for some things for our room. I forgot that the house rooms don't come with any furniture besides a bed! As of now I have nowhere to put my clothes and books for school! We plan to get a rug and curtains to spice it up, too. Anyway, busy busy!! Good luck any Mizzou students on our first day back tomorrow!

Wash, Dry, Fold, Repeat

Wash, Dry, Fold, Repeat

My family is really weird to me because they choose not to use a dryer to dry their clothes. I know that it is because they are trying to save energy and relieve themselves of the risk of shrinking their clothes, and I agree that there are some more delicate items of clothing that need to be line dried. However, I usually wash all my usual clothes at the end of the week and I end up with two to three loads. Not only is there not room on the line for that much, but I also don't have hours and hours to spend waiting for load after load to air dry. 

Luckily for me, one of our family friends got a new washer and dryer a few months ago that she was just so excited for me to try. Honestly, it was just your standard washer and dryer. But it was nice because her daughter has been a lifetime friend of mine and is also the girl I went skiing and to wild country with the other day, and it was good to spend more time with her before I go back to Mizzou. 

I am very much looking forward to returning to Columbia, but also a little stressed! I drive back on Sunday after I pick up my manly friend (not a boyfriend; still working on the commitment part!) from the airport. I am making headway on my to-do list though. One of the things I had to do before I leave is to get completely everything out of my wrecked car so it can be salvaged. I wasn't expecting to get so emotional while I was sitting in the driver seat on a dog food bag so I wouldn't cut my butt on the glass that covers the entire car. I managed to get everything out, but even though I felt like a wuss I was sobbing by the end of it. It made me so anxious to be back in the place where it all went down that when I came back inside I actually vomited. I got the job done, though, and now I should never have to go in it again. In fact, by the next time I visit home it will have already been taken away to a salvage yard. I don't know; I feel silly getting so worked up about just sitting in the car, but I try to give myself some credit. After all, I should have died in there and that rightfully shakes me up. I definitely look forward to taking my new car back to Mizzou after I visit for Mardi Gras in St.Louis City!  

Salvaging My Wrecked Car

Salvaging My Wrecked Car

Two months ago I was in a car wreck. I was the only car involved, and while I was of course held liable because it was a one car accident I was not written any citations or told there was anything I could do. Here is what happened and how.

At Mizzou in October racial threats and discord were everywhere. Riots and disrespect from both sides, really. So much was happening it was hard to know what was true or false. One night things got really bad when a student from Rolla (Missouri S&T) posted threats on Mizzou's yik yak app (an anonymous app based on location). The first threat said something to the effect of "Some of you are fine to come to school tomorrow. Others probably shouldn't". In the end the guy was trying to be funny, but I know someone who says he went to high school with him (my friend went to Wentzville Holt, although I haven't verified his story) who said he was charged with terrorist threats. 

Rumors and yik yaks (maybe by the same person I don't know) were going around from all sides. I read a few saying the Greeks would be targeted since we are supposedly the white privileged group of the university. A few posts were threats naming specific sororities and saying they would be the first to go, next to go, etc. It bothers me that we were targeted because really, if you are blessed enough to attend college you are privileged whether you pay it all or you have grants. Unfortunately in our country higher education is a privilege not a guarantee. As far as being Greek, it is rude stereotyping to assume that all PHA and IFC members are rich and white. Personally I know many diverse backgrounds in the Greek system, and I also know that many of us pay for our membership out of our own pockets with little or no help from our parents.

I probably would have been fine, no one got hurt. But it is nerve racking not only to think there a person or persons are out there blood thirsty, but also because by that point there was so much information as o what was going on outside our dorms (which we were told it was in our best interests not to leave). In my dorm we all gathered in the common areas with our hall staff and tried to keep up to date with Twitter from our authoritative figures and Mizzou mass notifications. But when it got really confusing and scary was when our student body president, Peyton Head, posted on his Twitter saying that the KKK had been confirmed sighted on campus by a "reliable source" and he was in contact with the feds. Around 30 to 40 minutes later he posted a sincere apology saying that his source was misinformed and he was sorry for causing any fear. From now on we were to receive information only from Mizzou Police. 

Many teachers individually sent emails cancelling their classes, although Mizzou did not officially cancel classes. Even the ones who did hold class didn't enforce attendance policies, it seemed. So instead of staying in my dorm and looking over my shoulder all the time I decided that with my classes cancelled I would drive the two hours back home and return when it had passed.

 I slept for 4 hours. My (now ex-) boyfriend at the time and I fought late into the night passionately over the current events. I would not have been able to sleep much anyway because I kept checking for updates. It turns out he was a pretty strong racist, no matter how \he tried to deny it, he made it clear in the way he phrased things and how he treated blacks. And that is not okay to me. Besides some abuse and the fact that he cheated (which I learned later), that is one of the main reasons I dumped him. I am not saying the actions of anyone, white or black, were right. But I am saying that disrespect from one human to another is rude and uncalled for. 

So I went home. How do these events relate to my accident? Well, I stayed one night at home and got 9 hours of quality sleep the night before I drove back to Mizzou in hopes the worst of it was over. I did not feel tired. But the lack of sleep from two nights before must've caught up with me because they say I must have fallen asleep for no longer than a minute. Just long enough for my left set of tires to go off the road into the grass. I quickly realized where I was, and I got scared because I didn't remember falling asleep or how I had gotten off the road. I over-corrected with a sharp turn right. I spun out. At around 8:30pm I went left back off the side of the road, this time under the median cable and across opposing traffic on I-70. I was going 75 miles an hour. My windshield shattered when my car, by some miracle, squeezed under the median cables. It all happened in a minute or so. My car stopped on the right shoulder of the other direction of traffic, facing the direction of traffic even. If you hadn't seen me come across or the oil leaking from my punctured oil pan you might have thought I just pulled over. The police came very quickly thanks to whatever Samaritan saw it and called.  

I declined medical attention. I had not hit any other cars which is a blessing because I would not be able to live with myself if I had hurt someone else. After a long ordeal and having my car towed back to my house I got a ride back to Mizzou. I did not attend my classes the next day because I was still in shock. Afraid to leave my room, even. I should've died in that wreck; even the tow truck driver told my parents in private that he had never seen someone walk away from a wreck like mine. My car was totaled and will be going to salvage in the next week or two. I am getting a new one, which is good because the remains of car in my garage scare me everytime I see them, and I emotionally can never handle sitting in the driver's seat where it all happened again. 

I drove home to be safe. And by some irony I returned very unsafely. All things considered it could have been so much worse for me. Now every time I pass that mile marker I look and see the remnants of the wreck fading away. At first there were tire ruts where my car squished into the grass to fit under the cables. And there was half of my front end....sitting right under the now-loose cables right there in the median. Black skid marks on the other side of the road. The mile number will always be branded in my memory. So yes, I am glad my car is being replaced, because after those two days of fear ending with that, the car holds nothing but bad memories.

Mizzou Family

Mizzou Family



Today I just feel really off. I'm bored but nothing seems interesting. I think it's because I miss my friends since I'm still on Winter Break, and nothing sounds as exciting unless I'm doing it with them. I don't go back until the 17th! My hometown friends here are all going back to their respective colleges before me, and of course my (more numerous) friends from college are scattered all over the country (and actually the world!).

It just has me thinking about friends and distance. It never occurred to me that, unlike in high school where my friends were mostly within the school district lines, I would have friends from absolutely everywhere. I mean it used to be hard to maintain friendships even just a few school districts away, or heck, even in the other high school in MY school district! But now my friends' locations are so various, and it offers me a new perspective. I like meeting people from so many different places. I travel a ton but I've lived in the same suburb my whole life, almost. It's so interesting to hear peoples' stories of their life or experiences in a big city or in a rural town or in a faraway country. Whether they live there or just are traveling over the break, I have friends and sorority sisters in probably ten or twelve different states and also one in Korea, Brussels, London, Spain and France!

It is just a wonder to me that wherever we come from, we all belong to our beloved University. We leave for the summer or the Christmas Break or what have you to rejoin our families or to travel and gain new and lasting memories. But then soon on the 17th we will return to what many of us refer to as "home"; Columbia, Missouri. (Yes, I am a Mizzou student! I have debated how many specific details to give. But since I have shared my college I will not share what sorority I belong to, I have decided.)

I have always felt close to Mizzou since both parents, my older sister, and my uncle all have attended. But once I got there myself of course my love grew more!! I just think it is so amazing how close I am to everyone there. Just thinking of how scattered we are, but then we come home to be with our second family: our Mizzou friends. So yeah I feel weird, because even though I am enjoying the break and spending time with my family, I miss my Mizzou family and I don't feel the same not being close to them! I look forward to returning and attempting my second semester!